wow

Im not sure whats going on with me this week...It seems there is so much stress and confusion and hurt going on around me and mainly caused by me that I fear i may do damage.I am praying hard and steadfast to you God that you will take the reins and row this back in....I love you

control

I will no longer worry about things I cant control...God I think Im ready to give you control.It is what it is and will be what it will be....

2010 let it begin.....

Starting off work is stressing me to my core here lately,Im so sick of everyone getting to coast while im accountable for every stinking thing....really becoming annoying....but I love my job and I know thats just part of it. I really do feel as if life is gonna happen......I never thought I would be one of those people who get to be happy,I had assumed I get to live hum drum and just settle.....NOT! I am taking control....I was always told your in control of your own happiness and Im taking control of this life and I chose to do with it what I want.I am accountable to the Lord for things and cant blame anyone but me for anything.I do know this......I am well blessed beyond anyworth I have and I am so very thankful for you....yes you..........you are amazing and wonderful,kind and considerate, you have a temper but dont we all... it keeps things hoppin......you are a true child of God and you are a Blessing. Thank you for all of your kind words and your prayers for me and my son.Thank you for talking me down when things get out of control,thank you for your cool head when my head is gonna blow....simply thank you.....thank you

Life.......

twill begin soon.......should be terrified.....no apprehinsion at all......excited actually and at peace with everything.....just ready for thangs to get popping.....God thank you for my manu undeserved blessings ,for without you I am nothing.....and most of all also to the starfish.....you are completly amazing and completly complete me

events!

What an awesome turn of events that have taken place.....seems life isnt as cruel as it has been.I have been blessed with the means to rise out of my current situation and move on to what I asked God for every single night for years......I just know in my heart that this is what I want, what I need,what I crave......I think I deserve to be happy in my life,dont you? God thank you for my friends and loved ones for without them I would surely wither and fold......to the starfish I owe you it all, for without you i am nothing,without you I dont even want to be anything,I have found a path that I want to walk and its with you little starfish.....God love you and so do I! I have never been more grateful to someone as I am to you starfish.......

alone

never felt more alone in a crowded room like i did tonite....i miss u starfish...

Merry Christmas

I should be so excited about Christmas ,but I just cant get into the holiday spirit.I am unable to spend it how I wish therefore I am just wishing to get thru until I can be where I want to be ....God, you have heard my prayers and I know you have a master plan, I am asking for help here.....I just need something to give so my TRUE LIFE can begin,God its the life I have asked for my whole life....we have talked many many times about how I wish things were dear Lord and I know you have heard me ...you have an angel in my midst and I feel this......I just want to be the man I know I have potential of being.God I love you and I praise you, We both know Im not perfect,I just want some help so I can finish off this life a happy man with love in my heart and joy to all I see. Merry Christmas to the starfish..........