events!

What an awesome turn of events that have taken place.....seems life isnt as cruel as it has been.I have been blessed with the means to rise out of my current situation and move on to what I asked God for every single night for years......I just know in my heart that this is what I want, what I need,what I crave......I think I deserve to be happy in my life,dont you? God thank you for my friends and loved ones for without them I would surely wither and fold......to the starfish I owe you it all, for without you i am nothing,without you I dont even want to be anything,I have found a path that I want to walk and its with you little starfish.....God love you and so do I! I have never been more grateful to someone as I am to you starfish.......

alone

never felt more alone in a crowded room like i did tonite....i miss u starfish...

Merry Christmas

I should be so excited about Christmas ,but I just cant get into the holiday spirit.I am unable to spend it how I wish therefore I am just wishing to get thru until I can be where I want to be ....God, you have heard my prayers and I know you have a master plan, I am asking for help here.....I just need something to give so my TRUE LIFE can begin,God its the life I have asked for my whole life....we have talked many many times about how I wish things were dear Lord and I know you have heard me ...you have an angel in my midst and I feel this......I just want to be the man I know I have potential of being.God I love you and I praise you, We both know Im not perfect,I just want some help so I can finish off this life a happy man with love in my heart and joy to all I see. Merry Christmas to the starfish..........

day ten million

So things arent just impossible but things sure are difficult right now.....my attitude is very terrible and I am trying my best to work on it....seems Im hurting the ones I love most with my lack of enthusiam and poor demeanor....but make no bones about it,I FULLY INTEND ON BEING HAPPY ONE DAY,LIKE IM SUPPOSED TO BE......I know its all in what you make it so im ready to get to making it awesome! Thank you to the one helping me thru this season of darkness for without you I would wither and die.....one day your happiness will be tenfold!
Im very thankful for all I have,for all who love me, and for things that loom in the future,dont know where this road is taking me but I assure you it wont be boring.....for my close ones,bear with me its not easy being porkchop...
I know this christmas isnt going to be like I wished it would but im going to make the best of it and latch on to the good time whatever it shall be,and to the starfish I wish nothing but all the cheese in the world!

chrysalis into pupa

Im trying so very hard to leave the man I was in the past.I want to change and be a good Godly man....I want to leave my old shell behind and grow......This is not as easy as it reads on paper....some days I relapse.....I pray for the strength and the fortitude to become what God wants me to be,I want to be a fine partner,father,brother,son and friend.....I just hope everyone bears with me during this storm because as I am always smiling, I do have turmoil in my life,it is made easier by those I keep close to me and Lord God I am so thankful......you brought me solace when I needed it most,to the one who has shown me life is beautiful once again ,mere words and thank yous will never repay the zest and zeal I now have for life! I know the climb we are facing some days seems insurmountable but I wouldnt wanna make that journey any other way................May Gods love shine on you today..

am I ?

I wonder am I truly worthy of such a blessing that I have in my life....I know this my friends...Im holding on and not letting go...Never had these feelings that I have ever.....just a feeling of completness and being as one......just know this.....if you can ever feel the way I feel you will know what im talking about......its bliss....just pure bliss...Thank you God for this....you have answered my prayers, I knew you was listening.......now lets get a going!

Just want to say how thankful for things and people in my life who havent given up on me, even on the days when I give up on myself.Its very hard to remain positive and be the jolly ole fat man everyone loves, but I try.God has blessed me with a humour that I try and share with others.God has really blessed me with trueness in my life over theses past few months....I have been blessed to have met a true being of God.just to say my life is heading slowly and Lordy do I mean slowly, in a finnaly a positive direction.If not for you I would still be lost.The word "amazing" doesnt even do what you are to me any justice.......More info to come,hope all is well

My first Blog...

There will be more to come......just wanted to say hello and introduce myself......